Sweet Savory Sustainable

It is hard to find motivation when life happens. The problem is that life will always happen. The highs and lows are a constant.

The challenge of balance that makes creating joyous and tortuous all at the same time, is doing it while living life.

The layers of being a human in the world today are built on destroying the creative spirt. Simply creating is an act of defiance against the system that keeps us from our highest power.

I knew, no matter how motivated I was this season of the 100 Day Project, there were going to be times where I would be stuck. I would have no creative direction to follow. Those days happened in the last two weeks.

A week ago today, the planet Earth lost one of its greats, but the universe regained her, my grandmother. I’ve been in a fog, while trying to keep life moving. There are days I wish I could simply take a nap. No rushing to get the kids, no meetings, no managing contractors, no auto shop repairs or rescheduling dental appointments. Nothing. Just a nap. To be able to move at a pace that will allow me to truly feel all that I feel and space to release it.

I did my best, but I had to take a break from sketching for a few days. In the last two weeks I’ve touched 3 sketches. Last Friday I sketched from the truck while waiting for the school bell to ring. I put the finishing touches on the 1950s pinup in my style. Then my youngest requested I draw a character from his VR game Animal Company.

Today is day 27. In previous seasons I would have stressed myself about catching up or gave up all together. This season, I allow myself pause and return. There is no growth in stopping. I’ve come to learn, consistency is not the same act every day but simply the act of never stopping. 1% today, 10% tomorrow, 5% yesterday, and so on.

I am still all up in my head now. I am living on the line of what’s the fucking point of all of this and let’s keep going! When I say what’s the point, it is never to creating art. Art will always be the point. What do the kids say these days, I’m fighting the urge to crash out, sell everything, move to the woods and paint forever. I’m not crashing out anytime soon. I may be coming in sideways, but I’m here for at least as long as my tough ol’ broad of a grandmother. 101 was her #. I call 105 so I’ve got a life to live, hearts and minds to grow, and community to build. And a sketch or two along the way. Here’s to keep going and day whatever it is of the 100 Day Project.