Sweet Savory Sustainable

“I am failing.”

I could feel the angst in the words I read on my phone. I know exactly how they felt when they hit send.

It was a follow up from a conversation with a former coworker. We talked about the need to take care of ourselves, especially at this juncture in our lives. These past few years have been life changing for both of us. We both agreed that we would do better for ourselves because we deserve to. Now we’re seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We are excited to move forward but that light, it’s still a glimmer.

They, like me, are in the middle of life, while going all in on their career, and still raising preteen and teenagers.

The data is there; it’s nothing new. The formula is quite simple. Get 6-8 hours of solid sleep. Eat a variety of whole minimally processed foods. Drink 80+ ounces of water a day. Move no less than 30 minutes a day. Some days, lift something heavy repeatedly. Also keep your mind sharp by reading a physical book 20 minutes a day and handwrite in a journal daily to let the thoughts escape and not turn into self-sabotaging thinking.

That is, it. The blueprint to positive habits and good health we should be following; that everyone should be following. On paper it sounds simple, but this world and the way society operates is not. Without community and support, what would be a smooth path becomes an impassible road to navigate. Layer on mom/parent guilt + self-sabotaging thinking, it’s a recipe for allowing oneself to think they are failing.

I’ve come to learn I am not failing. Failing is not trying. As long as you keep trying, you are not failing. You’ve seen the motivational posters; a row of glasses all filled at different levels. Not one on the same level. Some higher some lower but they all have something. Not one person can operate at the same level and give the same effort day in and day out. It is not human to do so.

I want to tell them so badly, they are not failing by any means. Because they are still trying. And that each day they keep trying, even the tiniest of tries, they will get better. They will achieve. I am still trying myself. Daily walks, strength training, meal planning & prep for food consistency, scheduling reading time, scheduling me time/creative time. It is not easy but as the saying goes, nothing good comes from easy and to try is not easy. Keep trying…

Keep showing up.

Here are some movement preparation suggestions I’ve been using myself to ensure I keep trying:

1. Gather all workout clothes the night before and put them in the bathroom or wherever you get ready in the morning.
2. Get an alarm that is NOT your phone. I use an alarm that vibrates so it doesn’t wake the rest of the house. I keep it under my pillow. Here is a sample of the one I use: vibrating alarm clock
3. Prep everything the night before that may hinder your morning or start of workout. I prep my coffee, the kids’ lunches, and breakfast items so all I must do is push a button on the coffee maker.
4. Block your movement. Make it non-negotiable like the morning cup of coffee. I block segments on my work calendar so it can’t be booked over. I work for a global organization and 530am calls are not out of the ordinary. Block the time.
5. Pregame your movement. Know what you plan to do the next day. Have the exercises planned and ready. This way there are no surprises and you can adjust your day as needed based on the movement.
6. Lastly, something I learned from an old coach, just do the warmup. If you do anything, at least do the warmup. Movement, no matter how small, increases endorphins, boosts mental health, improves memory and retention, and more. If you can’t walk for 30 minutes, walk 15 minutes. Take the stairs. Park further from your destination.

This comes from someone who had spent the last few years in a state of depression. In the last year and a half, I’ve been fighting for my health because of what the state of depression did to me. A skin infection made it so I couldn’t move. Simply lifting my arm to put a dish away, turning the steering wheel, bending down to pick up something that fell. I tried in different ways, still pushing myself to prepare breakfast and lunches. I wasn’t consistent because moving was hard but every weekend I still tried and continued to advocate hard for myself when no one else was. I have found myself in a place that I am able to manage my health and now…

I have a long fight ahead of me, with a tremendous amount of weight to lose to ensure I can meet the next 56 years (I’ll be here till 105 at least!) with gusto. These suggestions are steps I am using every day to help meet my goals at this stage in life.

If you have happened across this short story, I would love to know what things you are doing for yourself, to keep trying, to keep showing up? Gatekeeping midlife is out, if I am to speak like the kids of today. Sharing is caring; let’s build a community of support for those experiencing a new phase of life.