Daily Rants – It’s Been An Odd Week

The weather at this very moment is perfect. Last night’s storm refreshed the air. The break in the rain has allowed this afternoon’s sun to illuminate the green that has sprouted across the hillside. It’s breezy, very cold, but the sky is bright.
This has been an odd week for me; not much sleep, scatterbrained, feeling the need to constantly catch up. The lack of sleep comes from anxiety attacks that arrive at night right before bed. I may be passing out on the couch but as soon as my head hits the pillow… boom… the brain starts working overtime. It takes quite a while for sleep to come and the alarm seems to arrive so much sooner these days.

I think part of my worry comes from us going through toddler life changes; new sleeping, bathroom, and learning arrangements. I’ve definitely been challenged lately in keeping up with my kiddo’s active mind and curiosity, while still maintaining order here at home, and working on my own goals. It has not been an easy task. I think because of his recent adjustments over the last couple of weeks, I’m realizing the amount of work that needs to be done. I’m just feeling a bit panicked. I admire families that have multiple children, keeping them active and learning while maintaining a life for themselves and their households. So much of my day to day, is DIY, and that s**t takes time, but it’s time I’m proud and happy to put in. It’s just been an adjustment to find balance between everything, which I know I will find.

So what do you do when it’s 11pm and you’re supposed to be fast asleep because the alarm is going to go off in less than 5 hours? Push –ups; lots and lots of pushups, which eventually turned into a mini stretching/yoga session. The hubs had gone to bed and I sat quiet in the living room stretching and doing pushups, sit ups, and deep breathing until I could get my head to settle. I’m not sure when sleep came but obviously I didn’t wake when my alarm went off. That said, the day’s schedule was adjusted again. I had been letting this entire week’s lack of schedule function get the best of me; so today I said no. I wasn’t going to let it bother and I was just going to go with the flow.

The kiddo and I enjoyed breakfast together, homemade plain organic yogurt with homemade cranberry sauce and a homemade carrot pancake topped with a small dollop of homemade Meyer lemon jelly. He enjoyed a nice tall glass of organic milk and I a nice big cup of coffee! We tackled tasks around the house; he helped me prep the bread dough for making bread this afternoon. We worked on his ABCs with some fun ABC cards and then we hit the road. He on his balance bike and I on my feet, I jogged alongside him for 2 miles, to the park and back. We had fun at the park even if there was only a couple people there… it was cold, but we normally don’t let weather get in the way of getting outside and having fun. Back home for lunch (homemade organic bread, homemade almond butter, and homemade Meyer lemon jelly), more letters & numbers, and he helped me make a batch of homemade granola bars… I’ve now had 2 and need to back away! The kiddo is resting and I’m catching up on whatever… whatever I can. I’m not going to feel stressed because I didn’t get to #1, 2, 3, 4… on the list. I’ll just do what I can, with timeliness and purpose but I’m not going to kill myself if I don’t get it all done.

I decided on beef heart meatballs with pasta and homemade tomato sauce for dinner tonight. I’m off to get the meatballs in order and start the sauce. Hopefully I’ll have time to clear off the pile that is forming on my desk… if all that gets done and I get to take a shower before the kiddo wakes from his nap… I’ll be a happy camper.